The background: Since being diagnosed in April of this year (and finding out a month ago that it's Stage IV), I've become pretty much a scaredy-cat. Although I'm watch-and-wait and asymptomatic (except for the achy bones at times and occasional severe fatigue), I've become uber-reluctant to venture away from home except to go to work and run errands. My passion has always been travel and I've always had a vacation or camping trip in the works as something to look forward to. But right now, I just don't want to be away from home. It’s rare that I’ll go camping, even with my beloved “Stella” parked in the driveway patiently waiting for our next adventure. Right now, I'm content just to hang with my dog and my books and my garden.
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| Stella, BTCT* (* Before This Cancer Thing) |
What
happened to my adventurous spirit? I’m
the one who hates to fly but who traveled to Italy with two girlfriends, and
who learned to tow her own trailer solo because I love to camp and don’t want
to be dependent on anyone else. Where'd
my boldness go? Is it a heightened sense
of vulnerability? Maybe a fear of this
cancer thing rearing its head far away from home?
Susan,
in her wisdom, put it simply: I’m
nesting in the comfort of the familiar to allow my body and mind time to adjust
to this reality. Indeed, my world was
kinda turned upside down by this diagnosis, so a hankering for the familiar and
the routine is a natural response.
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| Nesting is a good thing..... |
OK -
that’s an explanation I can live with.
As long as I know that my trek-love is just on hold for the moment, I’m
good with that. I can relax and let my
mind and body do the work of adapting to this new normal. I know that when the time is right, I’ll
venture out again.
In the
meantime, I’ll just have to fill that travel void with some other passion. Hmmmmmm…..Any guesses on what could that be?
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| Purse-love! |
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| A brand new creamy butter yellow Coach bag - just as good as a vacation! |
