May 9, 2012

Bone marrow biopsy day.  More hijinx in Cancerland!

(FULL DISCLOSURE:  Depending on your tolerance level, some of the photos and/or text that follow may cause ooogi-ness, queasiness, hair loss, an erection lasting longer than 4 hours, or an oily discharge.  OK, so I made up that last one…..)

Didn’t sleep well at all last night – very restless and woke up a lot.  But after my favorite breakfast of blueberry waffles with sliced banana, and a great cup of coffee, I took Jake for a walk and felt rarin’ to go.  Let’s get this party started!!!!!

The BESTEST daughter!

Ready to go.  Let's get this show on the road!

My Lymphoma Goddess and Hero, Carol Ann, met Amanda and I at the oncologist’s office – with a bunch of gorgeous, yummy-scented bright yellow freesias. 

Kicking lymphoma's ass.

She didn’t know until later that I had chosen yellow as my “cancer color,” the hue that I can turn to for its energy, vitality, warmth, happiness, and power.  The sun is the essential life force of everything, and it’s what makes the desert my sanctuary.  I decided early on to channel the symbolic power of yellow – and the sun of my beloved desert – into this lymphoma journey.    

Carol Ann likewise had a bone marrow biopsy (BMB) when she was diagnosed with Hodgkin’s Lymphoma, and knew what it was going to be like – I am grateful to her that she didn’t divulge the details!  The research I had done on BMBs kept mentioning “discomfort,” “pressure,” etc.  Yeh, uh-huh….. 

Andrew, one of Dr. Glenn’s awesome nurses, started the shenanigans by taking my blood pressure. 

Mildly shocked at how high my BP was, but I guess that's to be
expected when one is about to undergo BONE PIERCING.....

No billowy hospital gown this time – I got the ever-popular paper drape.  Everything off from the waist down, and I was ready to rock.

Please, Terry, can we lighten things up a bit and not be so serious?

Skin was cleaned and disinfected with Betadine.  Dr. Glenn had such a gentle touch, it felt more like a spa treatment than surgical prep.  

I seem to get either the too-big hospital gowns, or the too-short tables.....

Next was the “bee sting” of Xylocaine to start the numbing process.  I’m glad I couldn’t see what was going on, because I heard Carol Ann say that’s one big mother fucker of a bee…..

TGFX - Thank God For Xylocaine

More, please.....

Pease, love, and numbing agents.

Dr. Glenn pulled out her bag of tricks and got started. 

SO glad I couldn't see this.....

A small nick was made in my skin and the biopsy needle was inserted.  Easy-peasy lemon-squeezy.  Didn’t feel a thing.  This’ll be a piece ‘o cake, right? 

The bone marrow aspiration was done first.  Dr. Glenn used a syringe to pull up a sample of marrow cells.  According to Caring4Cancer.com, “It is common to feel pressure as the needle is pressed into the bone, and a pulling sensation when the marrow is removed.”  Now that’s an understatement.  HOLY MOTHER OF GOD!  That’s when the expletives began to fly out of my mouth.  It’s hard to describe the “sensations.”  The tissue from the skin down to the bone is numb, but the bone itself can’t be anesthetized. How do you think it would feel to have a thick-ass SPIKE puncture your BONE?  Yeh, that’s how it felt…..

Calm on the outside, but yelling FUCK FUCK FUCK on the inside (OK, on the outside, too)

But worse than the actual puncturing was the “pulling sensation” as the marrow was drawn up into the syringe.  It felt like my entire abdominal insides were being sucked up into a vacuum cleaner.  I was trying to do rhythmic yoga breathing, trying to stay calm, but my eyes were squeezed shut and I was sweating and shaking and cussing like a drunken sailor.

Nice pillow to bury my face into (and not in a good way.....)

Dr. Glenn then performed a core biopsy, by inserting a hollow needle (a.k.a. SPIKE) and removing a small, solid piece of bone marrow.  Again, pressure and pulling and sweating and cussing.

Your eyes would be squeezed shut too,
if you had a surgical tool sticking out of your back.

Apparently I couldn't squeeze my eyes shut enough
and had to use my hand to make sure they were closed.

Dig for it, Dr. Glenn!

Did I mention how glad I am that I couldn't see what was going on?????

The greatest single word I heard today was when I asked Dr. Glenn if that was it?  Was she done?  And she said YES.

Thankfully DONE!

Tying everything up into a neat little package to send off to Pathology.

The biopsy needle was withdrawn, pressure was applied to quell bleeding, and I flipped onto my back to keep pressure on the site for a few minutes.  Turning over from my tummy to my back was no easy feat:  I was securely pasted to the paper covering the table by the considerable quantity of sweat that had poured out of my body.  Apparently for me there’s a third response to perceived danger:  fight or flight - or perspire.

Back in an upright position, it was time to don panties, shorts, and flip flops and head down the hall to make the follow-up appointment.

Panties tossed from daughter to mother = good times.

Amanda was visibly relieved that this latest thrill ride in Cancerland had concluded!

Not stressed in the least, is she?

Then it was off to Cheesecake Factory for lunch.

Finally - food and sunshine!

It’s about 4 hours post-biopsy as I write this, and my hip bone is achy and sore now that the Zylocaine has worn off, but doesn’t feel too bad.  I’m glad this step is finished and out of the way, and that I don’t have to wait three more weeks to have it done.  I’m grateful for Dr. Glenn and her skill and sense of humor, and SO thankful that Amanda and Carol Ann were there with me today.

Next step:  follow-up appointment with Dr. Glenn on May 25 to go over all the test results – PET and CT scans, lab work, and bone marrow biopsy.  That will determine what our next adventure in Cancerland will be! 

For now, though, I’m going to enjoy the rest of the day, maybe get a little bite to eat, perhaps a glass of wine, and take pleasure in a vase of beautiful freesias.

Yellow - my color for energy, vitality, warmth, happiness, and power -
and kicking lymphoma's ass!