April 17, 2012

“Terry, you’re going to be busy the next few weeks.  Are you sitting down?”  The call from my primary physician with the result of the biopsy wasn’t a surprise – I fully suspected he’d have not-so-great news.  “You have lymphoma.”

Now it was definite, real, concrete.  But, that’s how I deal best with things.  I hate ambiguity and vagueness.  I need certainty, sureness.  So this news was, for me, a relief in a way.  No more “What if it’s lymphoma?”  “What if it’s something else?”  Now I had a direction to go in.  And, in the words of a wise spiritual leader, “Always moving forward.  Always one foot in front of the other.”

Lymphoma.  At this point, I didn’t know what type (Hodgkin’s or Non-Hodgkin’s) or sub-type.  But one thing I knew for sure is that lymphoma is not a death sentence.  Being an info junkie, I had been researching my brains out since the first mention of the word “lymphoma” in the ER on March 10.  Most important, however, has been the presence in my life of an amazing angel and lymphoma warrior, my LaLa, Carol Ann.  She underwent her own battle with Hodgkin’s lymphoma and royally kicked its ass, and is now eight years cancer-free.  Her strength, exceptional positivity, and unfailing huge heart throughout her diagnosis, treatment, and beyond are, for me, the ultimate in showing how to fight this disease and win.  Yes, she was sick during chemo, yes she lost her hair for a time - but that was then.  Now she’s competing in freaking TRIATHLONS and traveling the globe!

I certainly couldn't have known it then, but watching Carol Ann’s journey through lymphoma was laying the foundation for how I would react to my own diagnosis.  Because of her, my first thought was “Lymphoma?  No biggie.  Bring it!”